I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
