why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
