You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
we're so committed to being not committed
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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