And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
