Its about making memories worth repressing
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize