you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
