That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Randomize
