Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
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I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
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