i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
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