Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
You left your underwear on the fireplace
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
