Barsexuality is the new black.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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