..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
