exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
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I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
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I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
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