Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Randomize
