If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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