Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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