Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
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