my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
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