Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
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