I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
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Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
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I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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