That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
