Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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