Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
