Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
