So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Drunk is not a location!
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
