If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
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