No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
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