why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
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