So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
