You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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