I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
