We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
My vagina is officially offended.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Randomize
