I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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