i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
Just cropdusted the office
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
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