that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Randomize
