So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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