Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
