We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
