is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
