so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
