She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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