Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
