Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
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