I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
