everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
