I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
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I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
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Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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