There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Randomize
