I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
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