I want you more than these girls want KFC
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
