Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
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