so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
