my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Randomize