He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize