You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Randomize
